Red Bull is good for partying LOooooongGGG and HAaaaaaaaard.
Well, no other Red Bull will ever reach you with such a rich history of SLEEPLESS debauchery and mild violence.
I was going to drink it, but that would be lame considering what this Red Bull’s been through…all on ZERO HOURS OF SLEEP.
Here are just a few of the raging red bull’s stats…
# of celebrity-touches: 6
# of boobs-groped: 3 (not including the dealer)
# of liters of liquor: 120 liters
# of hotel windows chipped: 1
# of $$ won: $1,000
has some scuff marks, dents, attached to blue base, unopened and untampered.
How the Red Bull became … errr… “rough ’round the edges”.
- Thursday – 08:00 – bought in Hollywood, CA and saw Ice Cube, in the flesh, down at Universal
- Thursday – 15.00 – Rode in a racing Lamborghini (which shortly after winning, artfully evaded …not one, but TWO cop cars on the I-15 in Nevada.
- Thursday – 22:00 – hung in Las Vegas with high rollers and was around for approx $20,000 in alcohol abuse
- Friday – 03.50 – spent the “wee hours of the morning” at Blackjack and won $1,000.
……and for a brief moment, it was touched by the hand of the dealer who by the way had what appeared to be VERY expensive boobies
- Friday – 09.30 – went for joyride in casino elevator with old couple on their honeymoon and helped them take a photo
- Friday – 12.00 – sat by the pool side all day and watched $2,000 worth of alcohol consumed.
- Friday – 18.00 – accompanied a celebrity guru on a drunken, raging “date from hell”; victim: quirky asian girl. (and had a jacket-pocket, eavesdropping advantage)
- Friday – 21.00 – launched across the floor of the beautiful Venetian hotel and moments later, launched again at one of the windows which surprisingly remained unshattered (though a speck of glass flew off when the corner hit it)
- Friday – 23.30 – posed for photograph with real life Showgirls!! and nestled itself comfortably in their blue head feathers
- Saturday – all day – (memory loss)
- Sunday – 11.00 – smuggled across a total of 560 miles of road and desert guarded by THREE thugish men (i mean, two of them Ivy League graduates, all worked on top secret projects for the government, and one even had a tattoo on his ankle and once considered a brow piercing…extra bad assery)
|
|
BIIIIiiiiiiiiiddddddddd!!! It’s for a good cause, seriously. (to help poor girl)
oh and i’ll ship the can free anywhere in the world.
share it!
[fb] [twitter]
search it raging red bull date from hell
